Keeping Your Marriage In Christ
Return To Use God’s Word
What Is A Marriage In Christ?
A bad Christian marriage is a sign that both husband and wife are not living God’s Word. There are spiritual laws at work in everything we do governed by God’s principles, and marriage is no exception. You may be thinking that if one person in a marriage is working at following the Word it isn’t always both the husband and wife causing the problems.
However, as long as one spouse is off with God both man and wife will be distanced from God’s best because a relationship in Christ must be harmonious and equally yoked in order to be at a level for both partners to live in God’s peace and blessings for their union. They cannot have a marriage in Christ as long as one or both marriage partners are always seeking self-fulfillment.
In other words, husbands and wives must both desire to put God as the center of their marriage. So although they’ll never be perfect, they should always strive for God’s perfect will, love and harmony in their home rather than desiring to have their own way at all costs–even at the expense of family unity and joy.
Ephesians 5:22-24 gives an important area of obedience. While this is not popular in our society today, it is Biblical, but is also often misunderstood.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
In A Marriage In Christ There Is Equality
I love how Bayless Conley, senior pastor from one of the churches we’ve attended talks about this subject. He says that it’s important to make clear that before God there is an absolute equality between men and women, between husbands and wives. In fact, this passage does not say, “Women submit to men.” It is purely a domestic situation.
Even with that understanding, the Bible says that husbands and wives are heirs together of the grace of life. There is an equality before God between men and women and husband and wife.
What this passage teaches is that God has set up a system of authority in the home that needs to be followed, if it is going to be well with us. In fact, this is even a military term. To submit or to obey means to put yourself in rank under.
He warns that we are in a spiritual warfare and there are spiritual forces that have been unleashed against homes and against marriages that would love to tear marriages apart. Evil forces can keep husbands and wives so bound in problems that they are kept from enjoying the Word and sharing it with their children. This can keep each family member from ever realizing their full potential in Christ to live their life purpose. So what I’m saying, is that a bad marriage will keep a family away from God and it will also leave a legacy to future generations void of Jesus Christ.
Bayless continues to say that God has designed a way for the home to function, and that is for the man to take the responsibility of leadership and for the wife to come under that authority. When a husband truly loves his wife, and cares for her like Christ does the church, and the wife respects her husband, things will be well in the home. With a marriage in Christ that couple and their family will be magnets for the blessings of God.
I’ve seen in my own marriage that when we both put God first, our problems would be worked out in a short time peacefully with both my husband and I content with the result. However, when we were younger and both looking at our own needs rather than God’s Word, we brought disharmony upon our household.
Make It A Commitment To Keep Your Marriage In Christ
If you’re married and you’re finding it difficult to follow God’s path for your life, look at your marriage. It may be the problem behind your inability to move forward with God. Rather than resign yourself to a bad marriage and a future that doesn’t follow God’s will, put God at the center of your marriage. Even if your spouse doesn’t do the same at first, in time you will see continued change that will bring equality to your marriage and God’s best for both of you.
A Marriage In Christ Made In Wisdom!
Here’s something that worked for me as I learned more about the Word. It helped my husband and I achieve a great marriage in Christ. When we would fight, I would go off by myself for a time and pray for God to show me what changes I needed to make in myself for that particular situation. Every time I did that we were able to work out our differences peacefully. Eventually we came to a place where we prayed together for God’s guidance. Before that I used to pray that God would make my husband see how wrong He was. That attitude caused our problems to escalate. By my looking to God first, we have come to a point in our marriage where we never fight. We only discuss.
Most men will positively respond to wives who communicate with God’s reason. Women respond to man who displays God’s wisdom and understanding. God has given men the ability to be practical and to obey God immediately when they receive guidance. However, women sometimes have to get past their emotions. When women pray for God’s guidance and act upon it, they will be able to rise above frivolous emotions that can only keep them in bondage and out of God’s wisdom. Men respond better to a woman’s feelings when they can make sense rather than just crying or yelling to have their own way. By following God’s principles all Christians can develop a great marriage and a great life in Christ. So don’t let your marriage keep you from establishing a great relationship with God. Insure that it leads you to God’s best.
The scripture I used that helped me walk in love toward my husband was 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. I had taught my children these verses when they were small and had them memorize each verse, but I came to realize one day that I was only speaking God’s Word not living it. The best Christian training for children is to be an example of what we teach them.