Successful Family In Christ
With a strong commitment to the Word you can develop a family In Christ.
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What do you believe makes a successful family in Christ? Money to buy whatever each family wants, good health, lots of friends, family vacations, education? While these are all important elements, there is a deeper need that comes from the very core of our beings.
A family member of mine was bragging with pride about the fact that she could buy her children whatever they wanted. Her lips were spread wide into a Cheshire grin as if she had attained her greatest goal for her family.
She was brought up to be a Christian, but she made it clear that she believed it foolish to express any form of sharing Christ by making fun of Christians who worship the Lord. Yet she finds nothing wrong with screaming at concerts over filthy-mouthed rock stars and their scary looking cohorts.
Her husband expressed his desire to share more family oriented activities with her, but she told him to go hang out with his friends instead while she went to her concerts. Sometimes she even took her oldest son..
Sadly her husband found a new friend while she was busy enjoying her separate life. His new girlfriend wanted to spend a good amount of time sharing activities with him which is what he needed. Feeling dishonest and almost having an emotional breakdown, he left his wife and children, and moved in with his girlfriend. A year or so later they were married and have been for over 5 years.
The first wife appeared to be more upset over losing her two-income status than the loss of her childhood sweetheart. How could this have happened?
This story makes it apparent that as we put other things before Christ, we create an imbalance which causes what we don’t want to happen to us instead of what we want. The seeds of a loving family were in this woman’s heart from her childhood, but she allowed money and things to take the place of having strong family ties and growth.
Developing A Family In Christ Through Your Actions
While we need the proper thinking, we also need the proper actions, even when we don’t feel like acting a certain way. In this instance, the wife should have spent loving and quality time with her husband whether she felt like it or not. In time, she would have valued their time together, but now that will never happen!
As parents we need to consider how important this is for our children. While they shouldn’t be indulged to have whatever they want, they do need to be indulged with the security that we love them and the security that their parents will provide a stable home.
They need spiritual growth as well as emotional, physical, and mental growth, and one of the best ways to learn this is through our behaviors based upon God’s Word.
Our actions are more effective than if we push them to study the Bible whenever we get the chance. If we do, we’ll only chase them away from it. And if we forbid them every pleasure in life through a false piety, they’ll run toward every worldly activity they can indulge in as soon as they can easily sneak out of the house. It’s all about balance, love, and patience.
Develop A Family In Christ For Your Children
Husband and wives, need to love each other and keep it going through difficult times. They need to show their children the strength in a marriage through Christ.
Children need to see Christ in their homes through their parents actions to learn how to live their lives. They also need to see how we react to mistakes with forgiveness. This can only be done by a daily interaction with our children. We need to spend time with them, listen to them, and make time to share activities and homework with them. Dinner is an excellent time to find out about everyone’s day and activities. My husband always loved the interaction we had at the dinner table with our children.
It’s also important to express affection, otherwise family members can become estranged with one another. One of the first things I learned about affection was that a big smile and a loving hug goes a long way. I came from a family that didn’t believe in affection, but instead were hard and cold. When I had my first daughter, I gave her more affection than my family had given me, but it wasn’t always enough.
A number of years later, after my two youngest children were born, I had learned more about Christ’s love, but it wasn’t always easy to be affectionate with my oldest daughter. So the sooner we can begin to show our love to our children, the easier we make it for them to love us back without feeling unnatural.
Looking back, I realize that I had judged myself pretty harshly about this until I learned to forgive myself through Jesus Christ. Living in unforgiveness keeps us from being effective parents, spouses and people in general, so we have to forgive ourselves to be the best we can be. After all, I did the best I could do at the time, and so did you when you made your mistakes.
All we can do concerning the past is to live in the now thankfully and let God guide us into doing things His way. So if you’re not sure what to do for your children, just be there for them, smile at them, hug them and tell them that you love them often–even if it seems to be too late. You must also let your children know how much God loves them. Say prayers with them before bedtime and then give them a big kiss good-night with the thought that God is watching over them. Learning about God’s safety and protection, will empower them at a young age to be positive about life.
Active Christian Family Living
Husbands and wives need to be in love, and if they don’t feel like it, they can pretend until they do. It’s neither hypocritical nor a lie. It’s a matter of loving our spouses through Jesus Christ. We should let Him carry us while we work out our differences and feel that love again or even for the first time. People don’t always marry out of love, that’s just a realization in life so it has to be acknowledged if this describes your marital situation. Don’t hate yourself about it, just love him or her through Christ and live the Word.
Get help if you need it from your church or a Christian counselor. Of course this is easier when both spouses are working together, but many times one person has to carry the load in faith and patience, trusting that God is working in both hearts for change. Remember, if you are believing for God to change your husband or wife, you must also believe for God to change your heart as well. There is so much we don’t know about our hearts that the Holy Spirit does. Give Him the opportunity to work in your home.
Parents can cultivate that love with their children by creating a peaceful, loving environment for each other that will fill the home and anyone in it with a spirit of joy and kindness. This can best be displayed for children by displaying patience without yelling, screaming or name-calling that will only cause low self-esteem.
Corporate punishment is up to you, but schools can cause you to lose your children if they receive any knowledge of your spanking them. If you can find a way to discipline them in other ways, this may work better for you in the long run. I spanked my children because that’s what I learned, but one day I just didn’t feel it was right and was sorry for many years that I had spanked them. I know the Bible speaks about spanking children to keep them from becoming spoiled, but loving them as God loves you causes them to love God and follow Him even at a young age.
This is a subject between you and God. Pray about it and the Lord will show you how to best work with your children at the ages they are now and who they have become thus far in their lives. Again, get help from professional Christian counselors or your church if you need personal guidance as well. God can work through others to help you.
In conclusion, spend time with your husband to keep your love flowing and together spend time with your children to keep a strong bond going between each family member. If your children are older, find ways to get together and share your love with them. Take a deep breath before getting angry, and then give thanks because you’re not alone. Christ is always there to lean upon if you keep Him at the center of your life! This is at the core of successful Christian Family Living.
Developing a family in Christ Is A Reality For All Christians!
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Family In Christ and all associated materials and related studies are the complete work of the site’s author, Margaret Lukasik, and cannot be copied by any means without her express written permission.