CHRISTIAN DATING ADVICE
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Christian Dating Advice By Margaret Lukasik
Christian dating is an important subject for single Christian men and women. Marrying the right person can mean a compatible union that puts God at the center, while marrying the wrong person can be a source of unnecessary strife and bitterness that can taint one’s Christian walk.
Christian Dating Advice Part I: Fellowship First
Christians have the ability to wait upon God for the best possible husband or wife that will be most compatible with their personality and beliefs. How glorious to be able to trust God for a spouse rather than desperately looking for someone who could turn out to be your worst nightmare. It’s best to look first for Christian fellowship with a person and then see what unfolds from there.
I’m not saying that Christians shouldn’t be looking, but it’s wiser to anticipate finding the right person in your life at the right time. When having a “date” or “being in love” becomes the center of your thinking, you need to look at your relationship with God. Center upon Him first to insure that you receive His guidance.
While Christians are no different than anyone else when it comes to wanting a romantic relationship, they are different when it comes to the necessity of finding the best person suited to their character, needs and most important “beliefs.” With God, there is absolutely no need to be “lonely” or “needy,” therefore there should be no reason to rush any relationship.
If you trust God, He will fill your life with wonderful people, activities and works which will enrich your life and keep you busy and excited about what you’re doing. By not desperately searching, you will allow God to prepare you for your wife or husband in the best possible way. This is where Christian dating differs from worldly dating. It is more a means of getting to know someone rather than using them for a sexual experience or to appear important because you have a specific type of boyfriend or girlfriend.
So instead of complaining that you don’t have a “special love” in your life, thank God for preparing you for a special person, and for His preparing them for you. This is the most productive means of finding a wife or husband who you can share your life together with in Jesus Christ.
If you center all your energy upon finding a person to love, you may find yourself with someone who is not a Christian. Their value system may pull you away from the Christian ethic and your desire to serve God. Also, if you choose to marry someone who is not centered upon Christ, they will not desire to use God’s Word as a foundation for marriage, life, and child-rearing. This can cause a serious wedge between you and your spouse or you will end up putting God last.
This is why it is a wise idea to date someone you know something about. Especially if you are a woman. Spend a little time with a potential love interest first before you decide to date them. Even if friends or family assure you that he or she is a wonderful person and perfect for you. They could be very wrong.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t date, I am only advising you not to put it at the center of your life, but rather create a situation whereby you can enjoy dating and be relaxed. This will make the process easy for you to be yourself, and you will get the best from the person you decide to go out to dinner with, go to the movies, a picnic, church and so forth.
So where do you begin if you are new to dating or Christian dating in general? I have a few Christian dating tips that will be helpful to you.
Christian Dating Advice Part II: Christian Kindness and Ethics
The following Christian dating tips are simple but very essential to fall back on when you feel it difficult to ask a person for a date. For men, these tips are a great help, but women have been known to ask men out for dates too.
know the right reason or reasons for asking a person out. When you know your purpose, it will be easier to express your reasons to the person. Everyone likes to know why someone chose them to date rather than someone else.
It’s not a good idea to say that God told you to date a person you go out with. Even if it’s true, it’s best to wait awhile before discussing God’s guidance for you. You could be wrong about what you heard if you are new to relying upon god’s guidance. You don’t want to put undo pressure on someone.
Make the other person feel comfortable by showing how thoughtful you are with honest compliments. However, don’t go overboard with so many compliments you make the other person feel overwhelmed or distrustful of you. Let God do His work. If things are right between you then all will work for the good of the Lord and both of you.
What if the person says no? Be prepared for a “yes” or a “no” answer. Tell yourself beforehand that a “no” is not personal or against you. It is actually a positive that will keep you from dating someone who is not right for you. So just be thankful instead of sad. Trust that all good things are working for you. Learn the beauty of grace in such times.
Practice what you would like to say to the other person. If you know anything about them, learn more about their interests and honestly speak about them with enthusiasm. But be honest! Don’t fake how you feel. Choose subjects that you can enjoy talking about.
Plan your date ahead of time. Either decide what you want to do or where you want to go before you ask a person on a date. At least for the first one. Otherwise you will leave a bad impression.
Never pressure a person to go out with you and never pressure a person to tell you why they said “no.” You could create a bad situation by your disrespect for the other person’s feelings. They may have a very personal reason for not dating anyone at this particular time.
Never forget about a date or change your mind without at least an explanation. Try to go if possible at least that one time. However, if you have a bad feeling about the date, call and cancel with an honest reason. Never leave a person waiting for you by not telling them that you have canceled. You wouldn’t like it, neither would anyone else.
Never be late for a date unless you can’t help it. Apprise them of your delay. Christian dating should include God’s message of kindness and respect for others.
Never ask a person on a date when they are with their friends or are busy doing something. Wait until the right moment or call them if possible.
I hope these Christian Dating Tips will give you some guidance for having a wonderful dating experience as a Christian. They should help you to maximize the time you spend with that special person.
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