Christian Dating Ethics For Christians New To The Word and New To Dating
2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (ISV) 14 Stop becoming unevenly yoked with unbelievers. What partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? What fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony exists between the Messiah and Beliar, or what do a believer and an unbeliever have in common? 16 What agreement can a temple of God make with idols? For we are the temple of the living God, just as God said:
CHRISTIAN DATING ETHICS BASED UPON SCRIPTURE
Christian dating is an important subject for single Christian men and women. Just like everyone else, Christians come from different backgrounds and mores, but the one thing that separates them from the rest of the world is their Christian commitment to God.
While some may think that commitment will keep them from finding the right person of their desire, it’s actually the means for finding the best person to live with for the rest of their lives. This is because Bible ethics narrow the process of what type of person to date, and Christians can trust in God by faith to bring the right person for dating and marriage.
By Christian dating I’m referring to two persons, male and female, who are committed to following God’s Word. Sometimes sincere Christians are unclear about translating scripture to behavior, so this articles will help to better clarify scripture in the area of dating. The first thing to remember is to date only Christians who have a similar commitment to God that you have.
Dating someone you like who isn’t a Christian can cause must strife to both persons. Dating will become a means of pressure for the non-Christian to receive salvation, while the unsaved person may be pushed away from Christ during the relationship with bad feelings that their Christian boy or girlfriend didn’t find them good enough as a person.
Dating Can Lead To Marriage
Should marriage take place with one person saved and committed to God and the other “just thinking about salvation” God won’t be at the center of the marriage. Marrying the right person can mean a compatible union that puts God at the center, while marrying the wrong person can be a source of unnecessary strife and bitterness that can taint one’s Christian walk.
Before dating any person, commit to centering upon God first and ask God to send the right person to you. Give that need to Jesus and then trust God. He’s already got the perfect person for you. With God at the center of your dating relationship, your marriage will continue with that commitment so that both persons will grow together in Christ. I’ve included more information on that subject below.
Christian Fellowship First
Christians have the ability to wait upon God for the best possible husband or wife that will be most compatible with their personality and beliefs. How glorious to be able to trust God for a spouse rather than desperately looking for someone who could turn out to be your worst nightmare. This is why it’s best to look first for Christian fellowship with a person and then see what unfolds from there.
I’m not saying that Christians shouldn’t be looking, but it’s wiser to anticipate finding the right person in your life at the right time. When having a “date” or “being in love” becomes the center of your thinking, you need to look at your relationship with God. Center upon Him first to insure that you receive His guidance. God will let you know if you’re making the right choice for marriage.
While Christians are no different than anyone else when it comes to wanting a romantic relationship, they are different when it comes to the necessity of finding the best person suited to their character, needs, and most important “beliefs.” With God, there is absolutely no need to be “lonely” or “needy,” therefore there should be no reason to rush any relationship.
If you allow yourself to look to a person only to fill your life, sex can also become an issue for dating and a means of taking you away from respecting your position in Christ. Trusting God by saving sex for marriage will eliminate many problems it brings such as social diseases, pregnancies, jealousy if a break-up occurs and much more. Our bodies are the sanctuary of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) so we don’t want to join them in a union against God. Instead we need to glorify God with our bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:18 (ESV) 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Fill Your Life With Important and Leisure Activities
If you trust God, He’ll fill your life with wonderful people, activities and works which will enrich your life and keep you busy and excited about what you’re doing. By not desperately searching, you’ll allow God to prepare you for your wife or husband in the best possible way. This is where Christian dating differs from worldly dating. It’s more a means of getting to know someone rather than using them for a sexual experience or to personally appear important because you have a specific type of boyfriend or girlfriend.
So instead of complaining that you don’t have a “special love” in your life, thank God for preparing you for a special person, and for His preparing them for you. This is the most productive means of finding a wife or husband who you can share your life with in Jesus Christ.
If you center all your energy upon finding a person to love, you may find yourself with someone who is not a Christian. Operating within the wrong Christian ethics may pull you away from Christian values and your desire to serve God.
Also, if you choose to marry someone who is not centered upon Christ, they won’t desire to use God’s Word as a foundation for marriage, life, and child-rearing. This can cause a serious wedge between you and your spouse or you’ll end up putting God last.
This is why it’s a wise idea to date someone you know something about. Especially if you’re a woman. Spend a little time with a potential love interest first before you decide to date them. Even if friends or family assure you that he or she is a wonderful person and perfect for you. They could be very wrong and you might find yourself fighting off someone who looks at you as a person to have sex with only.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t date, I’m only advising you not to put dating at the center of your life, but rather create a situation whereby you can enjoy dating and be relaxed. This will make the process easy for you to be yourself, and you’ll get the best from the person you decide to go out to dinner with, go to the movies with, a picnic, church and so forth.
The Christian dating ethics shared should be helpful guidance for new Christians and Christians new to dating.
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